I don't know how I've managed to open my blog again. Seems like I am so engrossed in surviving law school one day at a time, I forgot how this simple mental exercise will be helpful... in keeping my sanity.
Anyway, the first couple of weeks was uneventful. An assignment here, a grumpy professor there, an even grumpier office staff, and the new policy that just sucked the life out of the whole thing. The sad part is, no matter how long it has been since enrollment day, I haven't gotten over it. It's just pathetic, losing precious and valuable time. As my father said, "Son, you just lost two years of your life."
I can't blame the old man. I can't blame my mother if she rants out all of a sudden after asking me, "How's law school." Everytime I hear that question, I just try to find a way to avoid it. I answer, "Everything's alright." When I really mean is: "It's not fun nor inspiring anymore, my studying is getting me nowhere, I'm having a harder time than the last two years, and above all that, I get depressed when I see my batchmates attend their 4th year classes..." And I might just add: "My choice of profession is senseless."
One has to be a bit mad to enter law school. The glitter and glamour of having the title "ATTY." affixed to your name sounds noble - chivalric - even, or romantic as everyone you know whose never set foot or actually seen the pit you sunk yourself in sees you as the intelligent, honorable man that they will look up to when the time they would need the services of a man well-versed in law. Nay, the prospect of being a lawyer is just 'cool'.
Until you get smacked by reality so hard, you'll say to yourself, "What the hell went inside my head? What the hell did I get myself into?" I am not discouraging anyone who dreams of one day becoming a lawyer. I am just telling things as how I see it. In fact, I am encouraging those who really want it so bad to go for it. The other side of the coin goes to those who just happen to pass the thought by, not because they don't want to be lawyers, they are just there because they think it is... well, cool. Never, ever enter law school unless you really want it. Or at least have a certain degree of insanity. One has to me a bit mad in this field of study. As one of Raymond E. Feist's characters said in his Serpentwar Novels, two things will happen to those who've gone mad: either you kill yourself or you get better. I cannot say whether one of these days, I'll jump off the roof of a really tall building or just cross EDSA and pray to God it will not hurt that much and I wouldn't be a mess. But, I do hope I get better.
This is one of the reasons why I started this 'mental exercise': to keep me anchored and not to drift away to real madness along the way of this crazy enough of a ride. Yes, it takes a little insanity for one to decide to take up law. It pays to be mad. Why? I am still in lawschool, despite the obvious that I resent it and think of it as a chore.
Like I said, one has to be crazy, insane... mad.
